10 months

Today Ariana would have been ten months old. I still think of her every single day, and I see her in some of the things Ben does. I was reading a book by a Christian author this week, and it really made me step back and think about sweet Ariana and all that happened in our lives. We prayed so long for a miracle, for a baby to love. And then, just when it seemed like we were getting that miracle, Ariana was gone. But, this book I've been reading made me really re-think that way of thinking. It mentioned the story in the Bible with Elijah on the mountain. It reminded me to look for God's miracles in the gentle whispers, not necessarily in just the big, obvious things. So, I started making a list of God's miracles that came about because of Ariana's short life. Here are just some of the ones I came up with: l. We made life-long friends in Guatemala when we met her amazing foster family on our visit trip. 2. We made life-long friends who were on the adoption journey with us (Scott and Karen, Chanan and Rachael, Greg and Trisha, and many others.) 3. We got to experience first-hand the beauty of flying in over Guatemala-the volcanos, all the beautiful plants, etc. 4. Losing Ariana made us appreciate even more every moment we had with her, and every moment we have with anyone we love. 5. If Ariana were here on Earth with us, Ben wouldn't be a part of our family-we wouldn't have been ready at the right time. There are so many other miracles in the gentle whispers surrounding Ariana's life and death. The biggest thing, though, that I was reminded of by the book I read this week is that EVERY child, no matter how they join your family, is only on loan from God. They all belong to Him, and we should just enjoy and cherish every moment that we have with them. So, sweet Ariana, you were on loan from God to us for far shorter of a time than any of us would have liked. But, God, in His perfect way, has used your life and death to touch so many other lives. You, precious daughter of mine, will always be remembered as the miracle that God loaned to us for three short months. And, I think your cousing Belle said it best when she told me not to be sad because "Ariana is in Heaven and Nikki is holding her." (Nikki is my niece that died, for any who don't know.) We'll see you in Heaven one day, sweet baby!